


the quiet death

by shell-heads (chocopies)



Series: Cap/IM Bingo 2018 II [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 21:32:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16689262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocopies/pseuds/shell-heads
Summary: There are five stages of grief, and Steve has memorized every single one of them by heart. He is no stranger to loss, or heartbreak, or mourning, and everyone knows it.He'll make it through, they say, concerned and sad and grieving themselves. He's strong.Steve wonders what it means that he looks up at them and can't see anything but all that's gone.





	the quiet death

They all look at him with that same little shadow in their eyes, that incessant worry that makes them quieter and more careful around him like he’s some kind of delicate piece of glass that could shatter at any moment. They think he’s in shock, some kind of phase where they don’t know who or what could set him off at any given moment, and Steve nearly wants to laugh if only he could remember how. Somehow, he can’t remember anything at all-who he sits with, what he eats, what he does, it’s all a mystery he can’t bother to solve-and yet remembers everything. Every single thing, with the utmost clarity, the way the serum was meant to make him remember everything.

The curve of a smile, sly and mischievous and laughing. The gleam of brown eyes under bright lights, twinkling and warm like little stars. The touch of calloused hands against his soft palms, rough and sweetly tingling. Swaying to a soft croon in the dark, an arm around his back and a curl-covered head leaning against his chest.

Everywhere he goes, everything he sees-it’s all him, with his beautiful curls and gorgeous smile and laugh like a million fireworks in Steve’s ribs, and the sheer weight of these crystal clear memories is impossible to bear.

It hurts more, Steve learns, to have something fade from touch but remain hauntingly present in the mind.

 _Five stages_ , they whisper, _five stages._

He wonders if you can grieve if you don’t even feel alive.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a drabble for my stony bingo card "grief", which i struggled with a lot and pretty much just gave up on dkfglfgh
> 
> you could really play this off as tony dying at any point you want, but i'm thinking somewhere between aou and right before iw without taking into account all the iw drama lol
> 
> i'm back on my old url [@shell-heads](https://shell-heads.tumblr.com) on tumblr if u guys wanna chat about sad stony or just generally stony bc i love them more than is possibly healthy sfsgdgdasfw


End file.
